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13 January 2010 @ 02:43 pm
For all you SNOW lovers...........this is quite funny.  
My lovely and adorable friend Eileen nosurething2 sent me an email two days ago...



 
 
DIARY OF A NEW SNOW SHOVELER

December 8 - 6:00 PM

It started to snow.  The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.  It looked like a Grandma Moses Print.  So romantic we felt like newlyweds again.  I love snow!

December 9

We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape.  What a fantastic sight!  Can there be a lovelier place in the whole world?  Moving here was the best idea I've ever had!  Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again.  I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.  This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again.  What a perfect life!

December 12

The sun has melted all our lovely snow...  Such a disappointment!  My neighbor tells me not to worry- we'll definitely have a white Christmas.  No snow on Christmas would be awful!  Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again.  I don't think that's possible.  Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14

Snow, lovely snow!  8 inches last night.  The temperature dropped to -20.  The cold makes everything sparkle so.  The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.  This is the life!  The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again.  I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way.  I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15

20 inches forecast.  Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer.  Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.  Stocked the freezer.  The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out.  I think that's silly.  We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning.  Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt.  Hurt like hell.  The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17

Still way below freezing.  Roads are too icy to go anywhere.  Electricity was off for 5 hours.  I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm.  Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her.  Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her.  God I hate it when she's right.  I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

 
December 20
Electricity's back on, but had another 14 inches of the damn stuff last night.  More shoveling!  Took all day.  The dam snow plow came by twice.  Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey.  I think they're lying.  Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out.  Might have another shipment in March.  I think they're lying.  Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me.  I think he's lying.

December 22

Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August.  Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee.  By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel.  Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy.  I think the butthole is lying.


December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today.  And it warmed up to 0.  The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.  What is she, nuts?!!  Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?  She says she did but I think she's lying.

 
December 24

6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel.  Thought I was having a heart attack.  If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel.  I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!  Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

 
December 25
Merry fricking Christmas!  20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in.  The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil.  God, I hate the snow!  Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.  The wife says I have a bad attitude.  I think she's a fricking idiot.  If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

 
December 26
Still snowed in.  Why the hell did I ever move here?  It was all HER idea.  She's really getting on my nerves.

 
December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

 
December 28
Warmed up to above -20.  Still snowed in.  My WIFE is driving me crazy!!!

 
December 29
10 more inches.  Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in.  That's the silliest thing I ever heard.  How dumb does he think I am?


December 30
Roof caved in.  I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his BUTT.  The wife went home to her mother.  Nine more inches predicted.

 
December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house.  No more shoveling.

 
January 8
Feel so good.  I just love those little white pills they keep giving me.  
Why am I tied to the bed?



See..that´s my point here...there´s snow - and then there´s SNOW!! *rofl*

*loves flisty*

Andrea

Tags:
 
 
Where I am: at home
How I feel: gigglygiggly
OST: I can see clearly now - Johnny Nash
 
 
 
A Fine Furry Friend: cm: jj lolmidnight_coffee on January 13th, 2010 03:01 pm (UTC)
LOL! Awesome, thanks for sharing. I could soo imaging the process, too funny xD

Oh, and before I forget - AGAIN!: *hides* (you can seriously give out head slaps to me, I need them!) Thanks for your comment ages ago about your New Year's plans *gg* The 'Sauschädel' thingy got stuck in my head way too long, but my own fault: I asked! *shivers* xD

Happy Wednesday, sweetie!
Andrea: dean lmaolupina78 on January 13th, 2010 07:55 pm (UTC)
LOL my pleasure darling! :o)

No worries my dear, I´m not slapping anyones head here ;o)

I told you so!! *lmao*

Happy Wednesday eve honey! ♥
Vesta: Dean10biggelois on January 13th, 2010 03:12 pm (UTC)
Heheheeeee! Gotta love the snow, white as the little pills.

But you know what? There is a Swedish version of this too. Must be the same thing making its way through the poor, snow laden countries.
Andrea: Dean - can´t resist these puppy eyeslupina78 on January 13th, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC)
*giggles* Right..just like the little pills ;)

Really? How cool! If this little email should keep me from hating the snow, it´s failing major! *rofl*

(no subject) - biggelois on January 14th, 2010 07:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lupina78 on January 14th, 2010 08:53 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - biggelois on January 14th, 2010 09:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lupina78 on January 14th, 2010 01:43 pm (UTC) (Expand)
itskaylie: glee; emmaitskaylie on January 13th, 2010 03:13 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha --- WELCOME TO CANADA. That is what we go through EVERY. YEAR.
Andrea: J2 snowlupina78 on January 13th, 2010 07:59 pm (UTC)
OH MY, you poor Canadians! LOL
Thank god we don´t get that much snow all the time..it´s only every 10 years or so..but nevertheless snow gets annoying after some time.

♥ *hugs you close*
matapadabee on January 13th, 2010 03:40 pm (UTC)
*rofl* Good thing I don't need to shovel. :P
Andrea: blue heartslupina78 on January 13th, 2010 08:04 pm (UTC)
*giggles* That´s very true! (unless you have a car to dig out, that is..lol)

*huggles*
Deborah: James - Rock On!debris4spike on January 13th, 2010 04:28 pm (UTC)
LOL - we haven't had it that bad, but many would be cheering along with this diary!
Andrea: J2 snowlupina78 on January 13th, 2010 08:07 pm (UTC)
Thank God we don´t have that much either..but there already had been some winters like this one here in Austria...and I can´t say I liked it! ;)

Tareena aka Monte: surpriseloco_lobo on January 13th, 2010 05:43 pm (UTC)
LMFAO *twirls you*
Andrea: Jensen howdylupina78 on January 13th, 2010 08:08 pm (UTC)
*giggles and gets all dizzy*

(no subject) - loco_lobo on January 13th, 2010 08:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lupina78 on January 13th, 2010 08:27 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
Andrea: Damon blue skylupina78 on January 13th, 2010 08:09 pm (UTC)
Same here, same here! *nods nods nods* I´d sing and dance for Spring to come around right now!

*huggles*
MissDKmissdk on January 13th, 2010 07:43 pm (UTC)
LMAO!!! :D
Poor friend of yours, awww.
It was funny reading all that. Damn snow.
I love snow, but when it gets too much, I would like to say stop.

Thanks for sharing :D
Andrea: Damon smilelupina78 on January 13th, 2010 08:14 pm (UTC)
*giggles*

I don´t think that this story actually had happend that way, but I so can imagine it! LOL
I know it´s crazy wanting the winter to end in January, since it´s the coldest month in the year, but I can´t see anymore snow..lol

My pleasure darling! ♥



Tanja: Giggle - Samangels_cordy on January 13th, 2010 09:00 pm (UTC)
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
OMG hahahahah
*giggle*
Thanks for sharing sweets
*huggles*
Andrea: sam I likelupina78 on January 13th, 2010 09:13 pm (UTC)
My pleasure sweetheart!! I laughed so hard about it when I first read it, I simply had to share it! *giggles*

*hugs you close*

btw:Misha will be at Asylum Europe! *rofl*
(no subject) - angels_cordy on January 13th, 2010 09:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lupina78 on January 13th, 2010 09:38 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - angels_cordy on January 13th, 2010 09:50 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lupina78 on January 13th, 2010 10:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
     Mandya_phoenixdragon on January 13th, 2010 10:52 pm (UTC)
*Laughs hard*

That's awesome!

*hugs*
Andrea: Legolas smilelupina78 on January 14th, 2010 08:49 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it!! It´s exactly the way I feel about snow..at first, everything looks really nice, but if there´s more and more of it, I hate it. But on the other hand..a winter without snow seems not right to me either..LOL I´m weird, I know..;)

*hugs back*

EPandora: LMAO supernaturalnosurething2 on January 14th, 2010 03:33 am (UTC)
LOL...SO glad you had a good laugh!! Sorry about the late reply...still not getting notifications!! (((HUGS)))
Andrea: dean lmaolupina78 on January 14th, 2010 08:50 am (UTC)
*giggles* Oh it made me laugh so hard! Thanks again for sending that mail to me! :)

No worries my dear! *kicks LJ*

*HUGS BACK*
tinkabell007tinkabell007 on January 15th, 2010 04:25 am (UTC)
Oh Jesus...... ROOOOFLLL!!!!
Andrea: sam dancelupina78 on January 15th, 2010 12:56 pm (UTC)
It´s great, isn´t it? I had to laugh for half an hour or so when I first read it..I so understand this poor man ;)